Obama Dividing, Conquering DC Private School Elite

Oh no, the Obamas are inspiring class warfare in DC! Elite private school attendees are mocking other elite private school attendees, and it's all because of little Malia and Sasha! See, Michelle Obama took her little girls to visit Washington DC's bestest private schools, because soon they will begin their life of cloistered privilege in one of the nation's poorest, most segregated major cities. The Obamas chose Sidwell over Maret, which is a very important and meaningful sentence if you are part of "Washington Society." So at a recent Maret-Sidwell basketball game, tensions ran high! “The Sidwell kids started yelling ‘O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma! O-ba-ma!’ at us,” a Maret parent told the City Paper. Man, that was uncalled for! “On the Maret side, that was insulting and incendiary,” says the Maret parent, who requested anonymity. “How crass!” Maret’s side eventually responded by yelling “Oatmeal sucks!” — a play on Sidwell’s nickname, the Quakers. Oh god, guys, lame. Meanwhile, no one is even bothering to chant anything at Obama third-choice school Georgetown Day's basketball team. (Does GDS have a basketball team? Maybe someone will chant something belittling at their quiz bowl team!)